Anxious
I have friends coming into town the first week of August. Originally, they were coming from Michigan and NY to Boston. But the plan is now NY first then Boston. While this changes my plans a bit I’m okay with having fewer days in town…less pressure to entertain.
But…I’m super anxious about going to NYC. Like almost anxious enough to cancel and say “hey I’ll just meet you in Boston.”
I know YOLO and all that but figuring out the car to the train to the bus/train is keeping me up at night. Drive to CT then take the commuter train? Drive to a T-stop, pay to park, then take a bus to NYC?
And once in NYC…wandering around a huge, expensive city. Meeting friends of friends. Staying somewhere super expensive. I’m worried that I’ll worry too much and won’t enjoy it. I do want to see NYC but not on someone else’s agenda…when my parents are again leaving the dog with the gramps.
It just seems like too much. Part of me is saying “Amy don’t be ridiculous…go have fun with your friends.” But the other, more vocal part is saying, “It’s not worth the stress and anxiety over travel, social situations, and spending money when you’re not working.”
It seems that I often kill the joy in my own life. But I think I would be perfectly content seeing my friends for a shorter period of time in Boston and leaving a visit to NYC another time.
Am I being a wuss?
